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But I will tell you I now understand the desire to have your children succeed in an activity and through it being looked at as a successful parent. 

Unfortunately, as parents, we often invest in short-term happiness at the expense of long-term growth.

For example, when we help our children avoid childhood discomforts now, we keep them from developing skills needed to handle future pain or suffering. Instead, we need to teach coping skills and resilience necessary to bounce back from life’s inevitable setbacks.

My prospective got back on track after reading this quote:

“Your kid’s success or lack of success in sports does not indicate what kind of parent you are.  But having an athlete that is coachable, respectful, a great teammate, mentally tough, resilient, and who tries their best is a direct reflection of your parenting.” (Unknown)

This is why I coach! To make kids better on and off the court through the sport of basketball.

The sport is the carrot to teach life skills and character traits that will allow them to handle whatever life throws at them and still succeed.

This reinforced that I need to take that same coaching approach and use it as a parent to help my children learn invaluable lessons through sports that will prepare them for life.

As a parent, I can’t get wrapped up on what team they are on, their statistics, their awards and trophies to view my success. I need to stay laser focused on allowing the sports to be a great teacher to instill positive habits that will be beneficial throughout their lives.

Parents – Here are 6 ways to create positive sports experience for your child! 

This will instill positive character traits and life skills to last a lifetime for your child:

  1. Let It Be Your Child’s Experience: In order to do so, we must acknowledge that we can’t control the experience of our child…that is why it is called an experience. When we experience something we will have good times and bad times, great moments and average plays, we will deal with victory and defeat…allow your child to experience these highs and lows in sport which will allow them to deal with the ups and downs of life…If we try to control the experience our child is not being prepared for life.
  1. Focus on The Process: Sports like life are a process and we need to attack the process every day to grow and get better. The process is hard work, knowledge, attitude, perspective, teamwork, coachability, dealing with success and failure. Winning will only be the by product in sports and in life.
  1. Encourage Your Child to Take Responsibility: Teach your child early on not to pass the blame or make excuses, but to take responsibility for their actions.
  1. Let Your Child Solve Their Own Problems: There is much to be gained in learning how to solve problems as there is in solving the problems themselves. Your child should know that you’re always there for them, and that they can call on you when needed, but give them the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems.
  1. Allow Them to Learn Through Consequences: Sometimes the best thing that can happen is to make a big mistake and live with the consequences. However, it’s often the case that the mistakes we make as children have fewer long-range effects than things we screw up when we get older. So, it is better to learn from smaller mistakes while we’re young.
  1. Embrace and Understand That Failure is Inevitable: Failure is a prerequisite to success. No One accomplishes anything great if he or she is afraid to fail. In failure, children learn how to struggle with adversity and how to confront fear. By reflecting on failure, children begin to see how to correct themselves and then try again with better results.

I know it can be tough to look at the long-range goals when you get wrapped up in the emotions of your child.

But we need to not lose sight of the need to ingrain the positive character traits and life skills that will enable your child to successfully navigate through life on their own as they get old enough to leave your home.

That is the mindset you need to develop on how you view success as a parent.

The value is not in the medals and trophies that will collect dust and eventually be thrown out or left behind. The ultimate value is “WHO WE BECOME THROUGH THE SPORT!”

– Coach Jim Huber

Here are some vital practice requirements for youth coaches that Jeff Haefner wrote:

In my opinion, this is something all youth coaches should adhere to when conducting practices…

1) Little to no standing in lines. Players should be active. Keep them moving. Improvise to keep them active (use stations, split into groups, use better drills, etc).

2) Lots of touches on the ball. Players should have a ball in their hands during a large portion of the practices. Sharing one ball among 10 players, severely limits their touches. Use drills for optimal development and touches.

3) Use small sided games (1v1, 1v2, 2v2, 3v3, etc) in addition to unopposed skill work (ex: cone dribbling). Competitive games are a dynamic and critical training tool for development.

4) Run some type of competitive 1v1 full court dribbling drill in at least 9 out of 10 practices. This is probably the best drill there is for ball handling, agility, on ball defense… do this daily.

5) Enforce the rule: Eyes on coach and listen carefully. When a coach is talking, require players to have their eyes on the coach and listen carefully. Be stickler. Have them sit out or do push ups any time they don’t abide by this rule.

6) Reward effort, not natural ability. If a player is trying hard, give them praise! Encourage discipline and effort. Really focus on emphasizing “effort”.

7) Be positive! Make things fun. There’s no need to yell. Give out high fives and lots of verbal praise when they do a good job. Set a good example by being a positive coach. We want to build up their confidence and make this a fun experience for the players. Keep in mind, you can still require discipline without yelling. For example, if they don’t listen, just sit them out of the activity for 5-20 minutes.

8) Allow Mistakes. Players will make lots of mistakes. That’s ok. That’s how you learn and “fear of failure” is probably the biggest hindrance to player development. Make sure they know it’s ok to make mistakes and they are in a safe zone.

9) Allow yourself to make mistakes. As a coach, you will mess up and make mistakes. Don’t worry about it. Hindsight is 20/20. I have been coaching a long time and I still make mistakes all the time. That’s how you learn. In addition, no one expects you to know everything on day 1. Slowly increase your knowledge and understanding of the game. As a coach, learning should never stop.

10) Eliminate the three Ls. Eliminate lines, laps and lectures. Running laps or wind sprints, especially without a ball, is a waste of time. All conditioning drills should be done with the ball in their hands. Lectures should be left for the classroom. Kids come to practice to be active and participate, not to be talked to for extended periods of time. Keep lectures short and concise. Players learn by seeing and doing.

11) Focus on player development! Put learning how to play basketball ahead of learning your system. This is paramount. Most of your time should be spent on things that will help players no matter what team or coach they play for in the future. Teach them fundamentals like spacing, cutting, screening, shooting, dribbling, 1v1 moves, passing, footwork, defense, and lay ups.

By Joe Haefner

Here is an effective tip for teaching skills in youth basketball. I picked this up from Bob Bigelow years ago.

With youth basketball players, it’s usually easier for them to learn skills that require the least resistance against gravity.

Footwork requires no gravity. Dribbling works with gravity. Passing works slightly against gravity. Shooting works against gravity.

So we advise to put more focus towards the skills where your players can see a greater improvement.

Why?

1 – You’re more efficient and effective with your time.

When it comes to shooting and even passing, there are limitations on the progress you can make regardless of the amount of time that you spend.

This is mostly due to natural physical and mental maturation. Things that you have little control over.

While with ball handling and footwork, your ceiling is much higher because it doesn’t have as many limitations due to maturation.

So let’s pretend you have a scale of 1 to 100 for rating the proficiency of skills. 1 being the worst. 100 being the best.

With shooting, your max might be a 40.

With ball handling, your max might be a 70.

2 – Players are more motivated.

From a psychological perspective, it’s also motivating because your players see more improvement.

This tends to happen when you spend more time on skills that have less resistance to gravity like footwork and dribbling.

I would even advise to film the first practice and maybe the first game. That way, your players and parents can visually see it.

Should you ignore the other skills like shooting and passing?

Absolutely not! I would still spend a significant amount of time on passing and shooting lay ups.

However, you probably want to minimize the time of shooting off the catch and shooting off the dribble.

Also, from a developmental standpoint, it’s hard to work on shooting form due to strength and coordination.

That’s also why we recommend smaller basketballs and lower hoop heights for youth players. You can spend a few minutes on form shooting this way.

If you don’t have access to lower hoops, you can also do form shooting against a wall.

Here would be an example of how you might approach practice planning with this mindset. This might work well for players that are 12 years old and under.

Skills primary focus – Ball handling and footwork

Skills secondary focus – Lay ups, passing, shooting

Offense primary focus – Cutting and getting open – V-cuts, L-cuts, basket cuts (give and go), and backdoor cuts.

Offense secondary focus – Introduce ball screens, introduce screens away from the ball, baseline out of bounds play, sideline out of bounds play, press breaker.

Defense primary focus – Defensive stance, 1v1 defense, positioning when 1 or 2 passes away, moving on the pass, sprinting to areas.

Defense secondary focus – Defending cutters, post players, ball screens, screens away from the ball.

Of course, there are exceptions. An advanced group of 11 and 12 year olds might be ready to emphasize more shooting and advanced concepts.

Then as the players mature and get older, you can shift more practice time towards shooting form and more shooting drills.

Around age 12 or 13 is when you can start to focus more on shooting form. The time put in leads to greater improvement and it can actually have a lasting impact. This often coincides with when players reach puberty.

By Joe Haefner

Personally, I don’t believe we should spend much time teaching basketball skills to children under the age of 8. Some might even say 9 or 10.

I still believe we should incorporate basketball skills, but so many coaches forget that this a crucial time to develop ATHLETES. We should play tons of games that incorporate all sorts of movements that help children become better all-around athletes for the future.  Who cares if they are the best basketball player at age 9.  We want the best basketball players at age 18!

If we ignore this, it doesn’t matter how skilled the kid is in a particular sport. If they are not athletic enough to get open, they can not shoot. It does not matter how skilled they are with the ball if they can not create separation from the defense.  This concept applies to almost all sports!

Do you need to be a stickler on movement technique?

No and sort of.

Between the ages 6 and 9. No.

When they reach age 9 or 10, they’re ready for SOME technical instruction.

According to athletic development expert Brian Grasso, kids between the ages 6 to 9 are in the Guided Discovery stage. Everything should be outcome-based with an emphasis on fun.

When working with athletes under the age of 9, Grasso states, “The entire premise of sport exploration should be based on guided discovery and nothing more –while the nervous system is at the height of its adaptability, kids should be encouraged to explore on their own, and under the ‘rules’ of outcome-based activities only.”

This means that we don’t want to be overly technical with this age group. Just give them a goal and let them do it. For example, “Johnny, try dribbling down the court with your right hand and shoot a lay up at the opposite end of the court.”

Be positive and have some fun.

At what age should I start to focus on the movement technique a little more?

According to Grasso, when the athlete is between the ages of 10 and 13, you start to emphasize technical skill a little more while still making things fun.

You don’t want to go overboard so you don’t cause paralysis analysis for the athlete, but you want to give them cues to help fix an improper movement pattern.

Other reasons to focus more on movement with youth athletes…

  1. A child needs to have a foundation of moving without a ball before you can expect them to move properly with a ball.  If a kid can not stop, how do we expect them to dribble and come to a jump stop? If a kid can not jump and land, how do we expect him to shoot a jump shot? If a kid can not run properly, how do we expect to dribble while running?A well-known athletic development specialist named Gray Cook references a performance pyramid for athletic development. It has 3 layers.

    The 1st layer  is “Movement” which is the foundation. It refers to just being able to move and do things such as skipping, running, running backwards, climbing, crawling, shuffling laterally, hopping, landing, and so on.

    The 2nd layer is “Performance” and that refers to the efficiency of the movements. Performing movements correctly with power & athletic explosiveness.The That refers to when you get sport-specific.

    3rd layer is “Skill.”

    For example, you have to be able to jump & land (1st layer – movement) before you can jump with power. You have to jump with power (2nd layer – performance) before you can dunk or shoot a jump shot (3rd layer – skill).

  2. Kids learn movements better at a younger age and should be exposed to numerous different movement activities.Children are like sponges when it comes to learning new movement skills. Research shows that if you try to teach them movement skills when they become physically mature, it often takes longer to learn these skills. That’s why it’s important for the development of an athlete to start at a young age!
  3. Produce well-rounded athletes. You can have extremely-skilled basketball players who never make it to the next level, because they were not athletic. And this could be a result of them never learning how to move properly.  This can be taught when they’re older, but it’s much more effective to GUIDE them at a young age. �I think everybody knows at least one player who can shoot lights out, but could not create sapce to get the shot off if his life depended on it.
  4. Since the young athletes are not developed, their shooting form and other skills will change drastically as they get stronger and older.Why spend a lot of time on that when they’re going to change in the future anyways? Shouldn’t we be worried about developing them as athletes instead?
  5. Prevent Injuries.If an athlete is not exposed to movement patterns at a young age or does not continue to use those movement patterns, the athlete may move incorrectly which can lead to an injury. If the child learns how to move, this will be prevented.  What good is an injured athlete?

How much time should I dedicate to practice?

I believe coaches who work with kids under the age of 10 should spend at least 20 minutes of their practice incorporating movement games/skills. The rest of the practice you can work on skills such as passing, shooting, and ball handling.

Athletes over the age of 10 should spend at least 10 to 15 minutes at the beginning of practice incorporating different movement skills through a progression to prepare their body to perform at the highest level, prevent injuries, and improve athletic ability. You want to avoid making the athletes do explosive movements without properly warming up first. We have warm up examples in this sample practice for 11 to 14 year olds.

What do you do to incorporate these movement skills into practice?

Play plenty of movement games. It’s fun and it:

  1. Gets the body warmed up and ready to play.
  2. Helps develop them as athletes.
  3. Prevents Injuries.

Here are 2 great games to incorporate right away for ALL age levels!

1. Tag

2. Red-Light, Yellow-Light, Green-Light.

Tag is probably one of the best games you can play. It teaches the athletes to move in all directions. It teaches them how to be elusive. Elusiveness is something many players are lacking these days, because they never play these games anymore. When I was younger, we’d play tons of games (touch football, tag, kickball, dodgeball, whiffle ball) that required you to be elusive to succeed. Kids don’t do that as much anymore, so we need to make sure to incorporate these things into practice.

Another great game is green-light, yellow-light, red-light. Pick a movement and when you say green light, they go. When you say “yellow-light”, they go at half speed. When you say “red-light”, they freeze. If you were to do lunges, the green-light would be lunges at a normal pace, yellow-light would lunges at a slow pace, and red-light would make them freeze. This is great way to teach them how to control the speed of their movements while making it fun. You can do this game with running, shuffling, jogging backwards, hopping, and anything else you can think of.

Just like anything else in life, you need a good foundation in order to succeed. You need to learn algebra before you can do calculus. You need to teach kids how to move before they can become a great athlete and excel in a certain sport.  At the very earliest, I would not specialize until they’re 15 years old.

If you would like to get an idea of how certain movement techniques should be performed, I highly advise to visit this site website called Core Performance. It has a ton of free videos you can look at.

By Joe Haefner

Back in college, I came back to my hometown for a Christmas break. I ran into one of my old high school coaches by the name of Casey Ditch and we were talking about youth basketball stuff. Then he said, “Man, I wish all they did with youth players was play 3-on-3. That’s all I did when I was younger.” This really caught my attention, because Casey had developed into quite a player back in his day. He led the state in scoring, beating out former Chicago Bull Bobby Hansen (for those of you who remember him). He did unbelievable stuff with the ball and still could. If it wasn’t for two bad ankles, who knows what Casey would’ve done. We had a particular coach in the area who bragged about holding him to 15 points.

If Casey became such a good player by mostly playing 3 on 3 HALF-COURT as a youth, don’t you think your players could benefit from this as well?

When I thought a little more about the conversation I had with Casey, I realized that I played a lot of 3 on 3 when I was younger, too. I started playing in 3 on 3 tournaments when I was in 4th grade. I didn’t start playing organized 5 on 5 until 6th grade, and I handled myself quite well against players who had been playing since they were 8 years old.

If you think about it, 3 on 3 HALF-COURT basketball makes a lot of sense. It will improve a youth player’s long-term development for a number of reasons.

1. Players touch the ball more often. In the 5 on 5 game, players can go almost the whole game without touching the ball. In 3 on 3, you could touch the ball EVERY possession. When the player gets more experience handling the ball during game situations, the player is going to improve much more than the players who hardly touch the ball in 5 on 5. It doesn’t matter if you are the point guard or the star post player, you’re still going to get more touches in 3 on 3.

2. More room to operate. A lot of younger players, especially under the age of 12 don’t have the skill, strength, or experience to utilize their basketball skills with 10 players on the court. 3 on 3 gives them more room to operate and practice their skills.

3. Players learn the game! When there are only six (3 on 3) players on the court, players are more inclined to run the pick-and-roll, screen away, and screen the ball without a coach even telling them to do so, because there are fewer options out there. After awhile, they will start to figure things out for themselves which is FANTASTIC and exactly what you want the players to do. With ten (5 on 5) players on the court, a lot of those options aren’t there, because they lack the skill, strength, and experience. Now, with fewer players on the court, it gives them a split second longer to recognize a situation.

4. No pressing & zones. Now, instead of spending time on breaking full court pressure, breaking half-court pressure, playing against a 1-3-1, playing against 3-2, playing against a 2-3, playing against a triangle-and-two, playing against a box-and-one, you can focus on the FUNDAMENTALS. Youth coaches waste so much of their precious time working on things that they shouldn’t worry about at an early age.

99% of the presses that are ran by youth coaches wouldn’t work in high school or college, anyways. Most of the presses I’ve seen, just run 2 to 3 players at the ball and hope he throws the ball high enough, so somebody else can pick it off. It’s just a tactic that takes advantage of a flaw in our basketball development system, because players lack the skill, strength, and experience to react correctly to these situations. Spending that extra time on basketball skills and concepts, will benefit them much more for the future. Not to mention, if taught incorrectly (which most of the time they are), the zones and presses can ingrain some terrible habits in your players that don’t work at the higher levels.

Personally, I feel that youth players should not play in 5 on 5 leagues before age 10 or 11. Part of me feels that may even be too young.

By – Joe Haefner

First, we commend all youth coaches for taking up such an important role in developing children! In the grand scheme of things, what defense or offense you pick doesn’t matter in regards to how we develop the children’s character on the teams that we coach.

Second, I think we can all agree that we want to develop better basketball players for the future and we want what is best for them.

Now, one of the most-debated topics is what defense should we teach youth players? Zone, Match Up, Pressing, Man, Amoeba?

The answer is without a doubt man-to-man defense! I can promise you that in the long-run, you will develop better basketball players by playing man to man defense.

 

Man To Man Defense Will Help You Win More Games In The Long Run and Develop Better Players

At times, you may not win as many games at first, but I guarantee you start winning more games by the 7th and 8th grade as long as the man to man defense principles are properly taught.

And the chances of those players making their high school teams will be dramatically higher.

The feeling of seeing players succeeding at higher levels, because of the foundation you set as a coach is so much more rewarding than winning a few more games at the youth level that you and the players will forget about after a few years.

If you use zone defenses and presses, while you read this article, please remember that we’re not judging you or trying to be condescending by any means, because we’ve used zone defenses and presses at the youth level as well. But we feel like that was a mistake when it came to developing the players that we coached. And we all want what’s best for the kids.

We hope that you read the entire article and share your thoughts below even if you disagree with our points. We want this to be a community where we debate things in a positive, constructive way and come to a better understanding of these issues.

Now before we delve into all of the reasons that you should play man to man defense at the youth and middle school level, let’s examine why youth coaches typically go to zones, presses, and other defenses, the systemic issues, and why zone defenses and zone presses work.

 

Why Youth Coaches Go To Zone Defenses

First off, I don’t have a problem with zone defenses. I believe that zone defenses combined with good defensive fundamentals can help teams win games. However, in most cases, they should not be used at the youth and middle school level.

Under the current system in the U.S., most coaches get the unnecessary burden of having to teach skills, zone offense, man offense, press breakers, and defense with limited practice time. Some coaches only get one hour per week. Even at the high school level, it takes me at least 10 to 20 practices to get a good base to handle these situations. Some youth coaches barely get 20 practices within two seasons.

If we are concerned with the long-term development of youth basketball players, they should not even be playing 5v5 with the same rules as high school and NBA teams. As we’ve been saying all along, young kids should start out playing 3v3 half court, then 4v4, then 5v5. I first heard this from my high school coach 15 years ago. This is something that I’ve seen youth expert Bob Bigelow and many other great coaches preach for years. Not to mention, we introduce the game to kids before they are taught how to move efficiently.

As Bob Bigelow likes to say, “Adapt the game to fit the kids. Not the other way around.”

If you would like to read more in depth on the systemic issues, please read these articles:

Could 3 on 3 Basketball Be the Best for Youth Players?

What’s Wrong With Youth Basketball Leagues (And How To Fix Them)

Should We Teach Basketball Skills to Kids Under the Age of 10?

Not to mention, most youth coaches are volunteers who have full-time jobs and kids! So they barely have any time to educate themselves on how to teach basketball to youth players. Nobody educates them on the age-appropriate skills and how kids learn.

So what happens is that a coach hears from a colleague, faces a zone defense, or sees another team playing zone. Then, they see how much trouble it is giving the opposing team. Next, the coach implements the zone defense and realizes it only takes a few minutes a day to practice. And they weren’t even sure how to teach man to man defense in the first place. Next, games are closer and you might be winning a few games you shouldn’t. So the coach decides he’s sticking with the zone defense.

With the instant gratification of winning now and the need to please parents, coaches end up coaching for the outcome, rather than the process. And this does hurt youth players’ development in the long run.

 

Why Zone Defenses Work At The Youth Level

Zone defenses also work at the youth level because:

  • Players have not practiced enough yet to develop the proper ball handling skills to beat zone defenses and break presses.
  • Players are not strong enough to throw passes far enough and crisp enough to beat a zone. Defenses can send 3 or 4 defenders at the ball and still be effective.
  • Players have not developed the necessary strength and coordination to shoot accurately from long-distance.
  • Players have not developed the cognitive skills necessary to recognize situations quickly and react in the appropriate time needed.
  • Opposing coaches don’t have enough practice time to cover all of the situations.
  • Unlike man to man defense, you don’t even have to apply good defensive principles to be effective at the youth level.

 

Why Teaching Zone Defense Can Handicap Your Youth Players’ Future and Why Man to Man Defense Is The Best Defense For Youth Players

 

1 – Develop Athleticism

Something I rarely hear coaches talk about in the man to man versus zone defense debate for youth players is athleticism.

Now who is going to develop into a better athlete?

Somebody who has to move all over the floor using many different movement patterns or a defender in a zone whom only has to guard in a 7×7 feet box. Also, in a zone defense, defenders are typically stuck in the post area or perimeter area. So they don’t learn post and perimeter defense.

Now, you might argue that you don’t use a lazy zone or that you have a trapping zone and that your players run all over the place.

Well, as a person that studies athletic development both as a hobby and as a basketball coach, I can tell you that even aggressive zone defenses do NOT develop athleticism the way man to man defense does.

Let’s take your centers and/or forwards that you have towards the back of the zone as an example. (And by the way, these “big” players probably need to work on foot coordination and athleticism more than anyone). Just look at their feet as they play in the back of the zone. They rarely have to move quickly, get down in low stance, or transition from shuffle to cross over defensive movements. This changing from run, to shuffle, to cross over, is incredible for athletic development. This is one of the best things you can do. Their legs get stronger, faster, more coordinated, and more athletic.

And let’s pretend that you even rotate your big guys to the front of the zone trapping to develop their athleticism, you still won’t develop the same athleticism as playing man to man defense. With straight up man to man defense, you have to play 1v1 on-ball defense. There is nobody to trap or bail you out, except for help defense. So you have to move faster, work harder and smarter, and react quicker to keep the ball in front of you or out of the middle of the court.

Not to mention, the zone at the youth level usually forms bad habits. You’ll find that players in trapping and pressing defenses will form bad habits, because they can get away with things defensively such as lunging out of position, constantly going for steals, and reaching all of the time. It’s very hard to break these habits and in some cases, it doesn’t happen. So in my opinion, this can wreck a player’s basketball career if not approached properly.

Also, how many times have you seen a player who is extremely skilled get passed on for being not athletic enough? Now how many times do you see college coaches attempt to develop athletes who are not very skilled?

If you’ve been around the game, you know that many coaches are more willing to take a chance on an athlete who isn’t very skilled compared to a skilled basketball player who isn’t athletic. I’m not downplaying the importance of basketball skills. Developing basketball skills is super-important, but you also need to spend a considerable amount of time on developing athleticism.

If you don’t believe me, go watch some NAIA and Division 3 games. These kids are skilled! They just aren’t as big and as athletic as the D-2 and D-1 guys. Some of this is genetics. Some of this is a faulty athletic development system in the U.S.

Bottom line, this argument alone would deter me away from zone defenses, because of my background and belief that athleticism is so important not only in the game of basketball, but in all sports.

This is one of my favorite drills for developing basketball skills and athleticism: https://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/drills/1on1-defense.html

Al Marshall is one of the best zone defense coaches in the world (if you don’t believe me, just check out the reviews on his zone defense DVD). He uses the drill above every 2 to 3 practices because of its tremendous value to improving on-ball defense and athleticism.

Since we’re talking about Coach Marshall, I figure we’d also mention that even Al does not allow his youth and middle school teams (7 to 14 year olds) to play zone defense.

 

2 – Players Develop A Better Basketball IQ Playing Man to Man Defense

One of the reasons I’m a big believer in motion offense is because I think it develops smarter basketball players and I’m a fan of man to man defense for the same reason.

Who is going to develop a better feel for the game?

Player A shuffles back and forth between two spots and only learns to defend on one part of the floor.

Player B who is transitioning to different spots on the floor and learning to defend screens, cutters, post players, ball handlers, shooters, etc.

Obviously, it’s Player B. The more situations the player faces and the more repetitions the player gets in those situations with proper coaching and feedback will result in a better and smarter basketball player.

Now if Player B heads to a program that plays zone defense, they will be a very effective defender.

 

3 – Players Form Bad Defensive Habits By Using Zone Defenses and Presses

As mentioned above, a big problem with zone defenses and presses is that many youth coaches allow their players to develop bad defensive habits. Because youth players have not developed their coordination, strength, basketball skills, and general athleticism, defensive habits such as swarming the ball and lunging out of position for the steal every time will benefit them on the scoreboard.

In a zone defense, they also tend to just watch the ball and they can still be successful in regards to wins and losses at the youth level. In order to be successful with a man to man defense, they have to be aware of both the man and the ball. They HAVE to learn good defensive principles in order to be successful!

As these youth players get older, all of the sudden these bad defensive habits get exposed because kids are bigger, stronger, more coordinated, and more skilled.

Now, the kids with bad defensive habits are cut from teams, get less playing time, and in the extreme case, could even lose out on scholarship opportunities. Now, if you’re at a school that doesn’t cut, you just end up with a poor team and this hurts the player’s chance of getting recruited. College coaches usually want good players from winning programs.

And you might be wondering, why doesn’t coach just teach them the right way to play when they get to high school?

  • It can takes years to break the bad defensive habits. After players have spent most of their youth basketball career using poor defensive fundamentals, it’s very difficult to break the bad habits.
  • They’d rather keep the players with good habits and spend their time on other things to make them better players and make the team better. After trying to do this a few times, most coaches just end up cutting these players right away because they have learned that the process is so frustrating and not worth their time. The coaches do this to keep the team’s best interests in mind.

You also have to know man to man defense principles to have success at the higher levels even if you use zone defense as your primary defense. You can ask Syracuse’s Jim Boeheim who is known for running a very successful 2-3 zone defense and he will tell you the same thing. As mentioned above, Al Marshall does the same thing.

 

Arguments For Zone Defenses At The Youth Level

 

Zone Defense Isn’t The Problem – Lack of Defensive Fundamentals Are The Problem

I’ve also heard the argument that zone defenses aren’t the problem, it’s the lack of fundamentals being taught with the zone defense that is the problem. I agree with this. But it is a rarity at this age level for coaches to teach the proper defensive fundamentals with zone defense. And I still don’t believe zone defenses are age-appropriate for youth teams for the same reasons mentioned above. On average, players are too weak and uncoordinated to execute the offensive principles that beat zone defenses.

Look at the baseball system. Players are eventually going to be taking leads off of first base and pitching from 60 feet, 6 inches, but we don’t start the youth players out that way. We shorten the mound and we don’t let players take leads off of first base until they reach a certain age. Baseball modifies the game for youth, not the other way around like the current basketball system.

 

Players Can’t Advance the Ball Against Aggressive Man to Man Defense

I agree that if you play a super-athletic team that plays aggressive man to man defense, you can have more problems with this team than if they had played a zone defense. I think there are two solutions here.

  1. If the coach is winning by a lot, they should call off the dogs. Don’t let them defend outside the 3-point line or play a zone defense if they think that would help. That is what I have done in a few games where we ran into this problem.
  2. Find equal competition. It’s senseless for both teams to play a game where you win or lose by 40+ points. I realize that I’m spoiled because I coach in Kansas City, so it’s easier to find similar competition due to the large population, but do your best to find teams that will be productive to play against. When I organized my first youth league in small-town Iowa at age 22, I called local teams with similar skill levels and organized a 6-team league.

 

These Kids Will Never Play Basketball Beyond Middle School or High School

Basketball is one of the latest developing sports. Unless you can see the future, I don’t believe anybody can truly figure out who is going to develop into a good basketball player or not. Here are just a few reasons why:

  • Late growth spurtsSee Michael Jordan – grew 6 inches between sophomore and junior season in high school.
    See Scottie Pippen – grew 6 inches in college.
    See Bill Russell – was 5’10 in the 10th grade.
    See Shaquille O’Neal – cut from 9th grade basketball team for being too clumsy.

    These are just a few examples. As I’m sure with a little research, you would find many more in basketball and other sports.

  • Passion and hard work. Sometimes, passion and hard work for something will take players a lot further than somebody who is a little bit more naturally talented. Believe it or not, in this start earlier and do-more-at-younger-age era, it’s not what you do prior to puberty that counts, it’s what you do post-puberty that’s going to make the biggest difference in your basketball development. Steve Nash didn’t start playing until age 12. Dirk Nowitzki started around the same age.

 

Build a Winning Tradition

At some schools, coaches have the challenge of building a program. Maybe the team has lost at all levels from varsity to youth for a long time. Due to this, excitement about the program is low to put it kindly and participation is low. In order to create a buzz and get kids involved, you need to use some tactics such as zone defenses and zone presses that might help you win more games.

This one is hard for me to argue with. However, you want to be careful. You would still need to make sure proper defensive principles and basketball skills are being worked on in every practice. Otherwise, the situation could be a catch-22. You might start winning more games at the youth level and get more involvement, but due to the bad habits being formed, you still don’t win many more games at the varsity level.

Also, maybe you want to develop a “winning” attitude. This also needs to be handled with care, because what is the underlying message that is or is NOT being communicated. It could be harder to convey that working hard, doing the right thing, and avoiding quick-fixes will be better for you in the long-run.

 

The Zone Defense Gives Our Kids A Chance To Compete

I know some coaches that teach man to man defense, but will use a zone defense against a team that is far superior with talent. This one doesn’t really bother me as much as long as the team doesn’t get in the habit of playing zone defense every game.

I prefer to try a sagging / pack-line type defense to counter the more athletic teams. If I still have lots of trouble, I MIGHT use a zone defense.

 

They Have To Learn How To Play Against Pressure and Zones When They’re Older So They Should Be Playing Against It Now

Yes. I think we can all agree that they will play according to those rules when they get older, but is that really the right approach?

Kids also may need to learn how to drive a car, learn calculus, and learn how to raise a family and communicate with their spouse, but we’re not going to throw them the keys and have them get in LA rush hour at age 10, we’re not going to teach them calculus before they understand basic math, geometry, and algebra, and we’re definitely not going to tell our 12 year old kid to go start a family.

It’s all about progressions and doing what’s right for their long-term development. Presses and zones are advanced basketball strategies and need to be saved for the older age groups.

Now, I don’t have issues with competitive or elite 7th and 8th grade teams doing these things. To me, that’s more of a to-ma-to / to-mah-to issue. Younger kids from the 3rd to 6th grade levels, they need to learn how to play the game, physically develop, and psychologically develop before zone defenses and presses are used.

 

Possible Solution To Work on Zone Offense With Advanced Youth Players

I wouldn’t advise this until the kids are 12 or 13, but if coaches got together before a game during the second half of the season and said let’s work on playing against a 2-3 zone defense during the 2nd quarter, I believe the benefits would be outstanding. That way, you could introduce zone offensive principles when the kids are ready and work on them in a game environment.

Even though it takes effort, discipline, and time, man to man defense is by far the best route to go in developing players.

Among many other things, it improves athleticism, basketball IQ, basketball skills, and the athlete’s chances to succeed at the next level.

First to clarify, when Don says don’t read the defense, this is in reference to individual offense when you catch the ball. Moving without the ball is another discussion.

The main points that you take from this video are…

  • Attack immediately! Do what you do best.
  • Immediately counter if the shot is taken away.

First off, if you’re skeptical, I don’t blame you! Initially, I was a skeptic until I saw Don teach this in person. It also helped that I started having a lot of success with developing youth and high school players.

We even had an Olympic coach chime in with criticism as you’ll see below.

 

Do What You Do Best. Do It Immediately.

Why does this work so well…

As Don says, it steers you towards things you are successful and confident at.
It eliminates indecision. It improves reaction time. This allows you to attack the defense while they’re still scrambling and out of position.

Also, if you think about it… isn’t the defense forcing you to do that because you won’t have as much success? That’s what coaches do. They scout the opposition. Then they try to force the opponent to do things they’re not good at.

So why would we let them steer us towards something we’re not as good at… something where your success rate will be lower? That’s why you want to do what you’re good at.

The defense reacts to you, not the other way around.

You want to OWN the situation… its mentality too.

 

Immediately Counter If The Shot Is Taken Away.

As mentioned in the video, think about what happens when you attack immediately… and do what you’re best at.

Well, your move happens more quickly now.

To stop your move, the defense has to commit. This takes more speed and momentum to stop you. This forces them out of position.

And then BAM… you hit them with your footwork counter.

This makes it very difficult for the defense to stop, change directions, and defend your counter.

As you can see, this also perfectly complements mapping your attack and having your counter moves go opposite of the pass which were mentioned earlier in the educational series.

Now you add “Do What You’re Good At” & “Attack Immediately” principles into the mix.

Then through playing the game, studying the game, and countless repetitions, you get more scoring opportunities without sacrificing an aggressive, confident mentality.

 

Don’t Practice Both Hands and Feet Equally? Wrong!

If you believe that we’re saying that you should only practice what you’re good at, that’s dead wrong.

You need to practice footwork with both feet.

You need to practice dribbling & passing with both hands.

You need to practice finishing and close shots with both hands.

However, you need to instill the mentality of attacking immediately and doing what you’re good at.

 

An Argument From An Olympic Coach For Reading The Defense

Here is a comment we got from a subscriber…

For a coach to pass on the message to players that “I don’t want you to read your defense” (as Don said in the video clip) is very difficult for me to take. As a coach for more than 35 years at the youth, high school, NAIA, NCAA, and Olympic level, all of my teaching of offensive play is based on “reading the defense”.

If you want to develop intelligent players they must see the positioning and movement of the defenders. It should be taught from 1 on 1 play to 5 on 5 play. It is a long, tedious process but is necessary if you want players to be intelligent players rather than being robots.”

Maybe reading the defense works best for this coach. I used to teach “reading the defense”. You might too.

For 20 years, even Don Kelbick who invented this system taught his college teams to read the defense.

But this comment brings up some good points that we should look further into…

 

Long and Tedious Process To Teach Reading The Defense

Let’s address this. “It is a long, tedious process but is necessary if you want players to be intelligent players rather than being robots.”

1 – That’s why people LOVE Don Kelbick’s Attack & Counter System so much, it shortens the learning curve tremendously. To be effective, it isn’t long and tedious. It’s simple and it works right away..

Think about what happens when you attack immediately and then if needed you counter away from the help defense..

Your poor decision makers now are mostly making good decisions..

And your good decision makers have even more scoring opportunities..

So I believe you actually end up with smarter players. But who cares if they’re smarter as long as they play better!.

2 – You don’t need to have a group of kids for over 10 years and work with them every single day. And you don’t need olympic-caliber players to get it to work..

Is it perfect? No… there isn’t a perfect system. This is the real world… you have to do what is optimal for your situation. You have to do what’s going to bring you and your players the most success over the long run..

The Attack & Counter System is definitely ideal for the common coaching situation. And I believe it’s optimal for all situations, especially as you move up in competition..

Here was another part from the comment above….

“…If you want players to be intelligent players rather than being robots.” .

While I think the points above are sufficient, this comment leads to this story…

 

How The 4.3 GPA “Intelligent” Player & Johns Hopkins Graduate STOPPED Reading The Defense And Started Attacking… Then Turned Into An All Conference College Player

I coached a player named George Bugarinovic who had a 4.3 GPA and graduated from Johns Hopkins University for a medical degree. Obviously, he is very intelligent.

When we went over game film and strategies during practice, he knew how to do things.
However, he had a big problem. He thought way too much and reacted indecisively. In fact, he looked like a robot trying to read the defense.

Over time, Coach Dwight Williams did a great job of getting him to just attack. He told George to stop thinking so much.

And it worked… George went on to have 10 points and 20 rebounds in the 6A Kansas state championship game. The game went down to the wire and we ended up losing to powerhouse Wichita Heights. I think they ended the season ranked #12 in the country and won four state championships in a row.

And George battled future NBA draft pick Perry Ellis who starred at Kansas and Evan Wessels who played at Wichita State. No easy task!

George rode this momentum and went on to become an all-conference player in college at Johns Hopkins University. He even won the prestigious Jostens Award Trophy awarded to only one male athlete in the country.

Additionally, this concept helped me when training a player named Kyle Wolf. Kyle developed into a High School Gatorade Player of the Year in the state of Missouri.

Kyle’s freshmen year, he started some games and was a contributor to a National Championship team at the University of Central Missouri. In college, he shot 46% for a season from 3-point land and was a career 40% 3-point shooter. To put things in perspective, Steph Curry is a 43% career 3-point shooter!

 

Why Making The Wrong Decision Is Right… Dwyane Wade And James Harden

Here is another really positive benefit that you might notice.

When you instill the Attack mentality, even when you make the “incorrect decision” at times… from an academic standpoint, good things still happen.

So you can “be wrong” and still be right because you or your team still scores or gets a high-percentage scoring opportunity.

Who cares how it happens… just put the ball in the basket. That’s the point!

If you study Dwyane Wade and his Euro step move, you might notice the same thing. Don’t get me wrong, Dwyane Wade attacked at the right time. However, there were also times that the defender would pre-mediate the move and position themselves perfectly. But somehow Wade would still score, get fouled, or sometimes both… even when the defense knew what was coming.

It was Wade’s mentality of attacking and his aggressiveness. “It doesn’t matter if you get in my way, I’m doing what I want and I’m still going to score.”

In today’s game, it couldn’t be any more apparent than with James Harden. He’s going left and he’s going left hard. You practically have to position your chest on the side of his left shoulder to stop him. Then a wide open lane appears to Harden’s right and he takes it!

He creates even BETTER scoring opportunities because of attacking immediately and doing what you do best.

Coincidence that James Harden’s long-time trainer Irving Roland is highly complimentary of Don Kelbick’s training methods… who knows.

Either way, study all the great players and the moves they scored on. You find similarities.

Their aggressive, attacking mentality made them great.

Also, by attacking immediately, you take advantage of the small gaps and small advantages.

When you first catch the ball, you have your biggest advantage. The defense is still moving. If you wait for them to position themselves, the advantage disappears. Attacking immediately enables you to take advantage of the gaps and advantages.

 

Won’t Your Players Attack Blindly? Won’t This Lead To Other Issues?

Are you open… Yes. Shoot it.

Is there an open lane… Yes. Attack.

Attack BLINDLY… no. We don’t believe you should do that.

In a perfect world, you attack and make the right decision. However, we don’t live in a perfect world.

It’s better to have a player who attacks and makes the “correct decision” 50% of the time than a player who slows down to make the “correct decision” 100% of the time.

If you slow down to make the right read when immediately catching the ball, the gap will disappear.

I believe through playing the game and countless repetitions, you improve decision making. And this allows you to play instinctively rather than timidly. If you sacrifice the attack mentality in order to make the “correct decision”, you can hinder the development of your game.

 

You Can’t Always Control A Player’s Reaction Time…

In “simple reaction time” scenarios, there is only one stimulus and one action.

For example, in this little test where you click the mouse when you see a flashing light.

http://getyourwebsitehere.com/jswb/rttest01.html

In this scenario, a person’s reaction time is typically between 0.1 and 0.4 seconds.

And you can probably guess the reaction time of the best athletic performers in the world. They are closer to 0.1 seconds.

There is literally an electrical signal that shoots down from your brain, through the spine, and out your limbs that determines how quickly you can react. And this is highly dependent on the current state of your genetics. You can practice over and over and over… and your time can be improved minimally.

So that means, based on your genes… there are athletes out there who have “reaction time” advantage.

In Track & Field, this is why some sprinters are ALWAYS slow out of the blocks.

And in basketball, even hundredths of a second make a HUGE difference. It can be the difference between making a shot to win the game and getting your shot blocked to lose the game.

However, there is good news for you…

Traditionally, basketball is not taught as a “simple reaction time” sport. You are often taught to make a decision based off of many factors… “Read the Defense.”

And as discussed at great length, making a decision when there are many possibilities adds indecisiveness and creates analysis paralysis. This adds even more time when you try to read and react.

This is another reason that I believe in Don’s Attack & Counter System…

Through his “Attack Immediately” and “Mapping” techniques, he dramatically decreases the time it takes to act. He also eliminates the layer of indecisiveness.

It levels the playing field for the athlete with average reaction times, so they can compete against players with better reaction times. And it excels the athlete with above average reaction times.

 

Some Kids Get It. Some Kids Don’t.

No matter how much you try to teach your players to read the defense or make the right decision, some kids get it. Some kids don’t. It doesn’t matter what you do!

If you’ve coached for any length of time, I’m sure you can relate to that.

You can literally coach the same group for ten years. There will be some kids who just get it from day one. Then there are other kids, even after ten years that still don’t get it.

There are too many known and unknown factors that make it difficult and ineffective to teach this way.

 

Here’s Why You Should Stop Saying Read The Defense And Read And React

As I have studied psychology and social psychology, I’ve come to the conclusion that the words that you choose are very important. This is true for teaching and it’s even true for all areas of life.

Here are two interesting points from author Robert Cialdini.

There are dozens of examples in his book Pre-suasion, but here is a couple…

1 – Simply using the words attain, succeed, master increase performance on an assigned task and DOUBLES their willingness to keep working at it.

2 – Men were twice as likely to help a woman in distress when made aware they were on Valentine’s Street.

Words that you use are important!

Over the last few years, that’s why I stopped saying “Read the defense” and “Read and react.”

The word read is a passive word by nature. And here’s the definition of the word react: respond or behave in a particular way in response to something.

In both situations, you are being passive and giving ownership of your decisions to the defense! Instead, you want to have the mentality that you own the situation as mentioned earlier.

Attack… if necessary, counter!

Take action!

 

Even If You Think This Is Bonkers…

Even if you think “Attack Immediately” and “Do What You’re Good At” is not right for you, it really doesn’t matter.

If you ignore the mentality and just focus on the way that Don Kelbick teaches skill development, footwork, and counters, your team will still improve quite a bit.

Just the skill development side of his system…

  • Develops basketball moves faster and accelerates and simplifies skill development.
  • Teaches shooters how to use inertia to improve accuracy and shooting range.
  • Helps ball handlers beat their defender by being more effective with their feet.
  • Reduces practice planning time.
  • Reduces travels by developing better balance.
  • Develops better strength to finish through contact.
  • Develops counter moves that lead to more scoring because it takes advantage of the positioning of the defense.
  • Focuses on progressions and drills that happen the most frequently during games. That way, you’re not spending time on things that happen infrequently or other fluff.
  • Improves shooting percentages by focusing on progressions that are the most efficient shots.
KOBE BRYANT: DEAR BASKETBALL
From the moment
I started rolling my dad’s tube socks
And shooting imaginary
Game-winning shots
In the Great Western Forum
I knew one thing was real:I fell in love with you.
A love so deep I gave you my all —
From my mind & body
To my spirit & soul. As a six-year-old boy
Deeply in love with you
I never saw the end of the tunnel.
I only saw myself
Running out of one. And so I ran.
I ran up and down every court
After every loose ball for you.
You asked for my hustle
I gave you my heart
Because it came with so much more.I played through the sweat and hurt
Not because challenge called me
But because YOU called me.
I did everything for YOU
Because that’s what you do
When someone makes you feel as
Alive as you’ve made me feel.You gave a six-year-old boy his Laker dream
And I’ll always love you for it.
But I can’t love you obsessively for much longer.
This season is all I have left to give.
My heart can take the pounding
My mind can handle the grind
But my body knows it’s time to say goodbye. And that’s OK.
I’m ready to let you go.
I want you to know now
So we both can savor every moment we have left together.
The good and the bad.
We have given each other
All that we have. And we both know, no matter what I do next
I’ll always be that kid
With the rolled up socks
Garbage can in the corner
:05 seconds on the clock
Ball in my hands.
5 … 4 … 3 … 2 …
1Love you always,
Kobe
MICHAEL JORDAN: DEAR BASKETBALL
It’s been almost 28 years since the first day we met. 28 years since I saw you in the back of our garage. 28 years since my parents introduced us.If someone would have told me then, what would become of us, I’m not sure I would have believed them. I barely remembered your name.Then I started seeing you around the neighborhood and watching you on television. I used to see you with guys down at the playground. But when my older brother started paying more attention to you, I started to wonder. Maybe you were different.
We hung out a few times. The more I got to know you, the more I liked you. And as life would have it, when I finally got really interested in you, when I was finally ready to get serious, you left me off the varsity. You told me I wasn’t good enough.I was crushed. I was hurt. I think I even cried.Then I wanted you more than ever. So I practiced. I hustled. I worked on my game. Passing. Dribbling. Shooting. Thinking. I ran. I did sit-ups. I did push-ups. I did pull-ups. I lifted weights. I studied you. I began to fall in love and you noticed. At least that’s what Coach Smith said.
At the time, I wasn’t sure exactly what was going on. But now I know. Coach Smith was teaching me how to love you, how to listen to you, how to understand you, how to respect you and how to appreciate you. Then it happened. That night, at the Louisiana Superdome in the final seconds of the championship game against Georgetown, you found me in the corner and we danced.Since then, you’ve become much more than just a ball to me. You’ve become more than just a court. More than just a hoop. More than just a pair of sneakers. More than just a game.In some respects, you’ve become my life. My passion. My motivation. My inspiration.
You’ve my biggest fan and my harshest critic. You’re my dearest friend and my strongest ally. You’re my most challenging teacher and my most endearing student. You’re my ultimate teammate and my toughest competitor. You’re my passport around the world and my visa into the hearts of millions.So much has changed since the first day we met, and to a large degree, I have you to thank. So if you haven’t heard me say it before, let me say it now for the world to hear. Thank you. Thank you, Basketball.Thank you for everything.Thank you for all the players who came before me. Thank you for all the players who went into battle with me. Thank you for the championships and the rings. Thank you for the All-Star Games and the Playoffs. Thank you for the last shots, the buzzer-beaters, the hard fouls, the victories and the defeats. Thank you for making me earn my keep. Thank you for #23.
Thank you for North Carolina and Chicago. Thank you for the air and the nickname. Thank you for the moves and the hang time. Thank you for the Slam-Dunk Contest. Thank you for the will and the determination, the heart and the soul, the pride and the courage. Thank you for the competitive spirits and the competition to challenge it. Thank you for the failures and the setbacks, the blessings and the applause. Thank you for the triangle. Thank you for baseball and the Barons. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for the assistant coaches, the trainers, and the physical therapists.
Thank you for the announcers, the refs, the writers, the reporters, the broadcasters and the radio stations. Thank you for the Pistons and the Lakers, the Cavs and the Knicks, the Sixers and the Celtics. Thank you for Phoenix, Portland, Seattle and Utah. Thank you for the Wizards. Thank you for the believers and the doubters. Thank you for Coach Smith, Coach Loughery, Coach Albeck, Coach Collins and Coach Jackson. Thank you for the education and the experience. Thank you for teaching me the game behind, beneath, within, above and around the game…the game game.
Thank you for every fan who has ever called my name, put their hands together for me and my teammates, slapped me five or patted me on the back. Thank you for everything you’ve given my family. Thank you for the moon and the stars, and last but not least, thank you for Bugs and Mars.I know I’m not the only one who loves you. I know you have loved many before me and will love many after me. But, I also know what we had was unique. It was special. So as our relationship changes yet again, as all relationships do, one thing is for sure.I love you, Basketball. I love everything about you and I always will. My playing days in the NBA are definitely over, but our relationship will never end.
Much Love and Respect,
Michael Jordan

My Son Did Not Start Today

Posted: February 14, 2019 in Kids, Parents

Posted: January 16, 2016Author: 

My son is 9.  His name is Nate.  He LOVES sports.

In football this year, he led the team in touchdowns . . . . and tackles.  In baseball, he was the starting short stop, and hit the ball further than anyone in the whole league.   In soccer, nobody on his team scored more goals last Spring.  He’s an athletic kid.

Nate has played 4 seasons of basketball, 1 season of baseball, 1 season of soccer, and 3 seasons of flag football.  And because he’s the biggest kid on the team (every single season, not one teammate has been taller on any of those 9 teams), he’s usually been one of the best kids.

It doesn’t hurt that he was at a high school football game the fifth day he was alive; I was a Head Football Coach at the high school level at the time, 2006.  He’s grown up around the fields and gyms as I’ve been a high school Athletic Director for 6 of his 9 years.

They’ve had two basketball practices this year, today was their first game.  I’ve been to both practices.  I told my wife after the first one, “well this is going to be an interesting season for Nate.  He’s not the best player on the team this year.”  I’ve got a very realistic view of my kid’s talent.  I know that most of his success so far has been because of his size.

The first year he played basketball, his team would win 14-4 or 18-12, and Nate would score 10 or 14 points.  The coach LOVED him.  But look how easy it was for him to score! He was a giant!!

The next year, his coach told him to shoot a whole lot more than I thought he should.  I would tell him to pass the ball more, so other kids would have a chance, and he would say “Dad, my coach told me not to, cause the other kids can’t make them like me.”

So I was worried about how he would react to the first time he wasn’t “the man” on this team, the first time he wasn’t a starter.  I wondered when that would be.

For the first time ever my son didn’t start today.  

Today when I watched the coach sit the whole team down on the bench, and then call out 5 of the 9 and 10 year olds to take the court, my son wasn’t picked.  Nate was one of the three left on the bench.  My heart kind of sunk.  For my kid.

I was worried about this day, when he wasn’t the best kid, or at least one of the top ones on the team.  I was worried  for my kid.  How would he react?  I’ve been working with unrealistic parents for 15 years as a high school football coach.  I definitely DO NOT want to be THAT dad!  So, I wasn’t worried about me, I was worried about my son.

And you know what?

He NEVER even mentioned not being a starter, not one time today did he even hint at it.  I even tried to get him to.  “What was your favorite part of the game?”   “What was your least favorite?”  “What was the best thing?”  “What was the worst thing?”

His favorite part: “We won!”

Least favorite: “The one basket I missed.”  (He did score 2 points)

The best thing: “We won!”

Worst thing: “That the game was over.”

Parents: your kids will be fine if they don’t start!  As long as you’re fine!!!

If you’re teaching your kids all along the way that the TEAM > i, then when he doesn’t start, it won’t be a big deal.

If you’re teaching your kid to shake the coach’s hand, and say thank you after every single practice and game, he will have a healthy respect for his coach; it won’t matter when he doesn’t start.

If you teach your kid that every single person has a role to play on a team, starting at a young age, then it won’t be a big deal when he doesn’t start.

If you teach your kid to “just play hard and have fun,” then it won’t be a big deal when he doesn’t start.

If you use teachable moments while watching the NFL to teach your child that you don’t always get what you want, it won’t be a big deal when he doesn’t start.

I was more proud of my son today then I ever have been.  He was the only one on the bench standing and cheering for his teammates.

And this afternoon, while there was a commercial break during the NFL game, I asked him why he likes to cheer so much for his team when he isn’t in the game.  This little 9 year old looked up at me and said “Dad, I like to treat others the way I want to be treated.”

For the first time my son didn’t start today, and I couldn’t have been more proud!

 Author Chris Fore is a veteran football coach and athletic director from Southern California.  He has a Masters degree in Athletic Administration, is a Certified Athletic Administrator, and is on the California Coaches Association Board.  Eight Laces Consulting, his business, provides dynamite resources for coaches.  He is the author of An Insider’s Guide To Scoring Your Next Coaching JobBuilding Championship Caliber Football Programs, and the Outside The Lines Manual for Football Coaches.

“SOMEDAY” Disease

Posted: September 29, 2018 in Uncategorized

“Some Day” is a disease that will take your Dreams to the Grave with you.

(Written by Tim Ferris)

I have come to realize on my fifty-one-year journey that there is nothing more liberating than giving up the desire to be liked by everyone. Learn to love your struggles. The best day of your life is the day you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses.

If you cannot lead yourself, how will you lead others? Self-leadership is the art of getting extraordinary performance from your skill sets. Each person is free is to discover his or her own greatness. Our responsibility is to lift people up, not tear them down. The best use of power is in service to others.

A free person is one that conquers fear. Life is intended to be lived. Thus we must push our boundaries to their outer limits. The only real failure is the failure to act. Rejection can be the first step towards success. Many of life’s frustrations and adversities are wrapped in a package labeled opportunities.

My mission in life is to live a better, more fulfilling, more interesting, more balanced existence while being a positive difference in the lives of others. Competition inspires us to do more than what is required. Winning in sports is easier than winning in life. Failure is a growth opportunity. At some point in life, we have to unlearn most things to begin learning new things.

Be careful not to take one person’s opinion and make it the universal truth. Our minds should never be a place to store garbage. Uncluttered minds produce highly productive thinkers and results. The most worthless conversations take place when no one is listening. Open the windows of your mind to usher in fresh thinking. Always remain a student in life. It is the quality of your questions that determine the quality of your discoveries. The horizons are infinite. It is never too late to change and get better!